Coach or Companion?
When creating a sense of family, it doesn't mean that you have to lose your leadership role in the lives of your students. I often tell my leaders that you have to be more of a coach than a companion, but that doesn't mean that there cannot be friendship there. It doesn't mean that all you talk about is Jesus and the Bible, but it is the mental awareness that there come moments in closeness and relationship where you've got to stop and decide to be the coach more than the companion.
Though there are times when you can be transparent, there will be a million times that you'll have to quietly decide if you choose to be a friend in their lives or a coach. Always choose to be a coach, because if you are a coach first, then the respect for you will be there and the friendship will follow.
Paul tells us in the Scriptures, "You had a lot of spiritual teachers and instructors, but only one spiritual father," and that's really true. As a coach you become the spiritual mom, dad, big brother or big sister in the lives of your students.
I don't think one becomes a spiritual mom, dad, big brother or big sister without the choice to personally invest some time in those individuals. Personally, you can't do it for everybody. You talk language like a spiritual parent from the platform like, "we're family around here." You train your leaders around you, especially through the small groups to make everybody feel like they've got somebody on that leadership team that really cares about them as a person.
You're an instructor, if what you're doing is just basically teaching or preaching from the front. You're a spiritual parent or big brother/big sister if you are interested in their lives...the good and the bad. And I think to stay good at it...you still have to pay some extra dues with a few of your kids privately yourself that you're not even doing in front of everybody else. Those kids will have to work harder when at your youth group and reach out to more people than anybody else. But that keeps you on the cutting edge of your ministry, because it keeps your heart open.
When creating a sense of family, it doesn't mean that you have to lose your leadership role in the lives of your students. I often tell my leaders that you have to be more of a coach than a companion, but that doesn't mean that there cannot be friendship there. It doesn't mean that all you talk about is Jesus and the Bible, but it is the mental awareness that there come moments in closeness and relationship where you've got to stop and decide to be the coach more than the companion.
Though there are times when you can be transparent, there will be a million times that you'll have to quietly decide if you choose to be a friend in their lives or a coach. Always choose to be a coach, because if you are a coach first, then the respect for you will be there and the friendship will follow.
Paul tells us in the Scriptures, "You had a lot of spiritual teachers and instructors, but only one spiritual father," and that's really true. As a coach you become the spiritual mom, dad, big brother or big sister in the lives of your students.
I don't think one becomes a spiritual mom, dad, big brother or big sister without the choice to personally invest some time in those individuals. Personally, you can't do it for everybody. You talk language like a spiritual parent from the platform like, "we're family around here." You train your leaders around you, especially through the small groups to make everybody feel like they've got somebody on that leadership team that really cares about them as a person.
You're an instructor, if what you're doing is just basically teaching or preaching from the front. You're a spiritual parent or big brother/big sister if you are interested in their lives...the good and the bad. And I think to stay good at it...you still have to pay some extra dues with a few of your kids privately yourself that you're not even doing in front of everybody else. Those kids will have to work harder when at your youth group and reach out to more people than anybody else. But that keeps you on the cutting edge of your ministry, because it keeps your heart open.
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Want to know what makes your students tick? Sometime privately ask them to talk to you about their relationship with their parents. Then don't preach - listen. If you do this, you'll get a powerful understanding of their struggles and their strengths.
This Source, "The Power Of Your Parents' Approval," while it might not sound exciting, is one of the most critically important messages you'll share this year. It's not a "take the hill" message, but it's one that touches so many students. Counselors tell us that there's nothing more significant in the overall formation of a teenager's life and personality than their relationship with their parents.
Don't underestimate the power of teaching your students how to sort through this area in their life. You can do so much for them by giving them an understanding of the "complete acceptance" that their Heavenly Father has for them!
Living in the "Acceptance" of Our Father,
Paul said it best in 1 Corinthians 4:14-15, "I am not writing this to shame you but to warn you as my dear children. Even though you have ten thousand instructors in Christ, you do not have many fathers." Don't those verses pierce your soul?
Not only that, but let's take it a step further. While there are a lot of great youth communicators and youth ministry CEO's out there, the years have taught me that it's not been my communication skills or the size of my ministry that people I've impacted reference, but "how the Jesus Christ inside of me made them feel" as I became an adopted "big sis" or "spiritual mom."
Bottom line, one of the most eternally significant things you can do is to stir up inside of you the heart of a spiritual parent. In addition to hearing some sobering stats, listen in and get insight on how to live this out.
Lovingly,
In our desire for church growth, it seems that more and more leaders are falling into the category of "CEO," and have forgotten their call to be the "shepherds" of God's people. Though it's true that both are important in leading a church, Scripture and Jesus' example show us that fulfilling the role of a "true shepherd" is of the highest priority.
In this Youth Leader's Coach, I share seven principles that will help you "Cultivate The Heart Of A Shepherd" in your youth ministry. So, put on your running shoes, and let's go "chase" some sheep...together! There is no greater calling!
Lovingly,
Have you ever wondered, are we really making a difference in the lives of our students, or we just deceiving ourselves? Though most people will eventually become like their leaders, not all discipleship is biblically transformational. Rather, it is easy for people to be informed, but not transformed.
The Transformational Church Research Company recently wrote a book based on their research called, Transformational Discipleship: How People Really Grow. In this Youth Leader's Coach, "Are We Discipling Or Deceived?" I give you the highlights of their research and the book helping you know if you are discipling your gang in their Transformational Sweet Spot. I share with you two things that biblical discipleship IS NOT and three steps toward accomplishing the biblical transformation we all desire.
Becoming the best we can be,
You'll love this resource! It's a special love gift from my heart to yours from a recent message I shared during our college days, "Experience," with Master's Commission Atlanta. It's for far more than potential college students though, as it's a topic that students of all ages deal with...family. Family can be pretty broken these days, but my reminder to our students is to say, no matter your story or your family, your past does not define you. People can always disappoint us, but there is a Heavenly Father who never will and because of His love, He has placed destiny and purpose on all of our lives.
In this month's Source, "In Search of a Real Dad," I'm pulling parallels from the life of Mephibosheth and the movie Antwoine Fisher, as I take a run at sharing the Father heart of God for all us. It's been so pivotal in my own personal walk with Christ and let me just remind you my incredible youth leader friend, His love carries you to His table.
Grateful for His Father's Heart,
