When There’s Nothing Left to Give
There have been stages in my life, when I have been asked to go on when I have felt completely physically and emotionally drained and I have wondered how I possibly could. It was during those times that I remembered the moment when everything must have felt for Christ the emptiest and the most depleted...on the Cross. The time when He looked into the heavens and said, "Father, why have you forsaken Me?" It was at that moment that He did His most Hell defying ministry. If you have times like these, anchor yourself by knowing that at the moments that you feel you have least to give because you are choosing out of commitment to the Lord and your kids to go on, they often in the scope of eternity, become some of your most Hell defying moments, just like Calvary was His.
Secondly, know that you have to take care of yourself a little better at during these moments. Those are the times that whatever taking care of yourself means to you...a day off...walking in a shopping center...going for a long Starbucks and reading a book...you need to do it, because nobody else will take care of you. It is in those moments when things are most crashing, you have got to give yourself permission to detach from it and take care of yourself.
Last, but not least, all of us have to realize that God has not called any of us to be the savior. We cannot take on weights of responsibility that other people often try to put on us. Whether it's our family or other people, we reach points where everybody wants us to be their god. They want us to feel this out...figure that out...fix it...do this...do that and we accept responsibility that really is beyond ourselves. People then will try to make us feel guilty if we don't jump through all the hoops they want us to. Nobody's going to back away from that except you. You have to say, "I love you, I'm praying for you, but you're going have to make your own decisions."
There have been stages in my life, when I have been asked to go on when I have felt completely physically and emotionally drained and I have wondered how I possibly could. It was during those times that I remembered the moment when everything must have felt for Christ the emptiest and the most depleted...on the Cross. The time when He looked into the heavens and said, "Father, why have you forsaken Me?" It was at that moment that He did His most Hell defying ministry. If you have times like these, anchor yourself by knowing that at the moments that you feel you have least to give because you are choosing out of commitment to the Lord and your kids to go on, they often in the scope of eternity, become some of your most Hell defying moments, just like Calvary was His.
Secondly, know that you have to take care of yourself a little better at during these moments. Those are the times that whatever taking care of yourself means to you...a day off...walking in a shopping center...going for a long Starbucks and reading a book...you need to do it, because nobody else will take care of you. It is in those moments when things are most crashing, you have got to give yourself permission to detach from it and take care of yourself.
Last, but not least, all of us have to realize that God has not called any of us to be the savior. We cannot take on weights of responsibility that other people often try to put on us. Whether it's our family or other people, we reach points where everybody wants us to be their god. They want us to feel this out...figure that out...fix it...do this...do that and we accept responsibility that really is beyond ourselves. People then will try to make us feel guilty if we don't jump through all the hoops they want us to. Nobody's going to back away from that except you. You have to say, "I love you, I'm praying for you, but you're going have to make your own decisions."
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According to surveys done by the Fuller Institute of Church Growth, 70% of pastors have no one they consider to be a close friend and 50% have considered leaving the ministry in the last 3 months. Those are staggering statistics and I suspect that the numbers aren't too different for youth pastors and leaders.
This Youth Leader's Coach, "Coping With Stress and Burnout In Youth Ministry," is probably destined to be one of your favorites. I share candidly with you on stress and burnout. After 35 years in fulltime youth ministry, I've obviously experienced my share of both of these. So I wanted to share with you some of the pragmatic and medical things I have learned through the journey that can help you in these crucial areas.
Most of all, I wanted you to realize that when you feel pretty seriously stressed and even burned out, you are understood and not crazy! It's my honor to send this Youth Leader's Coach your way. Keep it filed somewhere so you can pull it out occasionally. It probably will be worth listening to more than once.
Lovingly Your Sis,
Over and over again I have leaders ask me, "How do I stay spiritually fresh while doing youth ministry?" Truth of the matter is that ministry will always demand our energy, but it is our responsibility to fight to keep ourselves refreshed. That's much easier said than done, which is why this resource is so vital for all of us.
In this month's Youth Leader's Coach, "Fighting For Your Own Spiritual Freshness While Doing Youth Ministry," I give you ten ideas that will be helpful to you in revitalizing your spiritual walk.
Lovingly,
Contrary to what many people think, it is not your talent or your intelligence that is really the major predictor of how much happiness or success you're going to have in your life, your family, your vocation, or your ministry. A far more accurate predictor of those factors is your GRIT. And best news is that grit isn't something you are just "born with"...but it is something you can cultivate!
In this Youth Leader's Coach, I share pragmatics from the book, Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth. We'll take a look at what "grit" is. I'll also share four psychological assets that, if you choose to grow them over time, will help you grow your GRIT. As novelist John Irving says, "To do anything really well, you have to OVEREXTEND YOURSELF."
Committed to growing my GRIT,
Have you ever hit periods when you were unmotivated to do youth ministry? Where you were painfully "blah" in other areas of your life? I used to think that if I just took care of my "spiritual person," I was going to be okay. But the truth is, doing ministry for the long haul (more than 3 months) is more complicated than just taking care of your spiritual self. What I wish someone had told me earlier is what I've learned through the years. There are "Five Ministry Tanks" that we need to keep paying attention to in order to give us "fuel" to do ministry for the long haul. If not, we run the risk of showing up to heaven with an enlarged ministry, but a shrunken heart.
That's what this Youth Leader's Coach, "Dealing With The Ministry Blahs," is all about. In it I share some of the risks associated with ministry "blahs" or "running on an empty tank." And then look at all five ministry tanks...SPIRITUAL, PHYSICAL, MENTAL, EMOTIONAL and RELATIONAL and some of the ways that that I have been successful in keeping them filled through my ministry run.
Lovingly,
This Youth Leader’s Coach is a leadership pep talk that I often give to myself. It's this kind of self-talk that has kept me in the game for over four decades. Henry Thoreau said, "If a man does not keep pace with his companions, maybe it is because he marches to the beat of a different drummer." And through the run when challenges came, I learned that no man is ever down for the count…until he quits in his own mind. So, I just get back up and keep drumming!
I hope these simple pragmatics will help you if you ever feel like you're discouraged or want to give up. And don't forget, you can never let God down. Do you know why? Because you were never holding Him up in the first place! If you don't need this encouragement now...you will. So, listen to this Youth Leader's Coach so you are prepared to just KEEP DRUMMING. If you do that my friend, I promise that heaven and I will be clapping for you.
Lovingly,
