Significant Questions
I recently received an email from a member of my Cadre who was wondering, "Am I asking the right questions?" Sadly, not too many people pause to ask those kinds of questions.
Though the word-game has become trite, his questions are now beginning to shift from "success" to "significance." I realize the worn out nature of those two words; but they aptly describe the transition he is wanting to make.
"Success" questions mostly deal with short-term goals and rewards (i.e. "How can I raise the budget?" and "How did this year compare to last year in accomplished goals?")
"Significance" questions mostly deal with INTERNAL DEPTH, MULTIPLICATION, AND LEGACY.
Let me give you a few of my "Significance Questions" through the years.
INTERNAL DEPTH:
- What part of my character am I purposefully focusing on to grow at this season of my life?
- Where, internally, am I still "wearing skins?" (Jacob/Esau parallel..."skins" being the parts on my inner-person where I'm secretly trying to be someone I am not.)
- Who in my life is genuinely allowed access to the deepest parts of me and is deeply listened to when they "tweak" and reveal what they see?
- What is honestly my deepest fear and is it quietly motivating me or crippling me at this point in my journey?
- What are the islands of strength in my life that have now become clear that I should focus on in order to create maximum impact?
- What should soon be put on my "NOT To-Do List"? In other words, for maximum multiplication of my strengths, what am I doing now that someone else could do and allow me more time to focus on my strengths?
- Who are the key people in my life that I am giving myself deeply to (aside from my immediate family) people who have enough leadership and influence aptitude to "multiply the multiplier"? My son, Josh, once said to me "My life listens deeply to yours." So by whom else might that authentically be said?
- What are the 5-7 words I want people to honestly be able to describe me with at my funeral?
- If true success is that "those who know me best, love me most" (my personal definition) then how, in brutal honesty, can I be a better wife and mother (husband and father)?
- Gandhi's words are simple but profound: "Be the change you wish to see in the world." With that in mind, what is beginning to emerge in my life as the "slice of change" I would like to create through my life? This will be tweaked and perhaps totally changed as the years go on. Mine began as an internal mission to "Motivate and mentor Kamikaze Christianity into practicing and potential kingdom champions." Then as the years progressed, another "layer" began to emerge which will probably be my deeper legacy, "To encourage, equip, inspire and instruct the youth leaders of this generation." To me, those words are so much more than trite mission statements. They become "umpires," calling in and out the decisions and priorities in my life.
MULTIPLICATION:
LEGACY:
As I type these questions, I'm reminded of the shallowness of what the church calls "success." As always, success and internal fulfillment remain an "inside job."
I recently received an email from a member of my Cadre who was wondering, "Am I asking the right questions?" Sadly, not too many people pause to ask those kinds of questions.
Though the word-game has become trite, his questions are now beginning to shift from "success" to "significance." I realize the worn out nature of those two words; but they aptly describe the transition he is wanting to make.
"Success" questions mostly deal with short-term goals and rewards (i.e. "How can I raise the budget?" and "How did this year compare to last year in accomplished goals?")
"Significance" questions mostly deal with INTERNAL DEPTH, MULTIPLICATION, AND LEGACY.
Let me give you a few of my "Significance Questions" through the years.
INTERNAL DEPTH:
- What part of my character am I purposefully focusing on to grow at this season of my life?
- Where, internally, am I still "wearing skins?" (Jacob/Esau parallel..."skins" being the parts on my inner-person where I'm secretly trying to be someone I am not.)
- Who in my life is genuinely allowed access to the deepest parts of me and is deeply listened to when they "tweak" and reveal what they see?
- What is honestly my deepest fear and is it quietly motivating me or crippling me at this point in my journey?
- What are the islands of strength in my life that have now become clear that I should focus on in order to create maximum impact?
- What should soon be put on my "NOT To-Do List"? In other words, for maximum multiplication of my strengths, what am I doing now that someone else could do and allow me more time to focus on my strengths?
- Who are the key people in my life that I am giving myself deeply to (aside from my immediate family) people who have enough leadership and influence aptitude to "multiply the multiplier"? My son, Josh, once said to me "My life listens deeply to yours." So by whom else might that authentically be said?
- What are the 5-7 words I want people to honestly be able to describe me with at my funeral?
- If true success is that "those who know me best, love me most" (my personal definition) then how, in brutal honesty, can I be a better wife and mother (husband and father)?
- Gandhi's words are simple but profound: "Be the change you wish to see in the world." With that in mind, what is beginning to emerge in my life as the "slice of change" I would like to create through my life? This will be tweaked and perhaps totally changed as the years go on. Mine began as an internal mission to "Motivate and mentor Kamikaze Christianity into practicing and potential kingdom champions." Then as the years progressed, another "layer" began to emerge which will probably be my deeper legacy, "To encourage, equip, inspire and instruct the youth leaders of this generation." To me, those words are so much more than trite mission statements. They become "umpires," calling in and out the decisions and priorities in my life.
MULTIPLICATION:
LEGACY:
As I type these questions, I'm reminded of the shallowness of what the church calls "success." As always, success and internal fulfillment remain an "inside job."
Related Items
This year I was invited to a reunion of SPIRENO, a youth group that I led 25 years ago. It was a great time getting together with some of my old students, some of whom are now the grandparents of the current students in the youth group! We had a wonderful time reminiscing and some of the things they remembered really surprised me.
Though most of you haven't been in youth ministry long enough to have a 25-year reunion, you might be interested in knowing just what they will remember...25 years from now. In this Youth Leader's Coach, I share the 5 things that my students tell me over and over again were defining memories in their life. Some of the things that I thought they would remember most, seemed to fade into the background. They made it clear that 25 years later, the things they remember weren't my "amazing messages" or "great events." But what they remember most was how Christ's life flowed out of me in the tiny ways to let them know that the love of Jesus Christ is more than a nice platitude, but a living, breathing reality.
Leaving A Legacy,
One "ultimate question" casts the die for many of us. No, it's not "What would Jesus do?"...though granted, that's a pivotal question. But, it's a LEADERSHIP question that will shape your attitudes, priorities, goals, and everyday living.
Here's the question: Are you going to spend the rest of your life trying to BE GREAT...or trying to MAKE OTHERS GREAT? If your answer to this question is the second option, then hell will deeply fear the eternal impact of both your life and your legacy.
In this month's Youth Leader's Coach, I'm sharing some of my own personal thoughts on how to live "The Ultimate Question." I'm hitting four talking points that help us focus on MAKING OTHERS GREAT. This will be an outstanding resource for helping those around you reach higher ground.
Lovingly,
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Have you ever dared to think of who will remember you when you are gone? And even deeper, what you will be remembered by? Will you be remembered by your rock solid character? Or perhaps, will you will be remembered by what my hero and husband is being remembered by, his PRAYER LIFE. Or maybe that won't be your legacy. What if you are remembered for being selfish, unkind, maybe a gossip, a disinterested parent, or lazy youth leader?
In this Source, "Where Are They Now?" we talk about the LEGACY we will choose to live out while on this earth. I talk about how we can do this STRATEGICALLY and INTENTIONALLY in the society we live in today. And how we can strive to do this consistently so that we can make a REAL, LASTING impact on the lives of this generation.
"When I die, don't think I'm gone. I'll still be alive in that person...and that person...and that person...and that person."-D.L. Moody and Jeanne
Building A Legacy,
I've always been a woman on a mission...to leave a genuine legacy that honors Christ. You've heard me quote my personal mission statement over and over: "The motivation and mentorship of Kamikaze Christianity into practicing and potential Kingdom champions." In this Source I challenge each of us with the question, "What's going to be the SIGNATURE OF YOUR LIFE?" I ask you to be audacious enough to answer the unspoken question that everybody will be trying to casually ask in the “reunion” celebrations of your life, "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE?" We all want to do something AMAZING and WORLD-CHANGING with our lives, but really, what does that even look like today?
You'll also hear me reference one of the greatest men I ever knew that REALLY did something DEEPLY meaningful with his life on earth. I had the honor and privilege to see what real, destiny-altering legacy looked like for 48 years with my beloved husband and hero, Pastor Mayo. He was a LEGEND...to me, and to many of you.
WHAT MAKES A LEGEND? This is the definition I gave at Pastor Mayo's Homegoing Celebration...INTEGRITY + ENDURANCE = GOD'S KIND OF LEGEND
Lovingly,
